How To Share A Bed: Problems And Their Solutions Nectar Sleep (2024)

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Last Updated on Jul 22, 2022

Sharing a bed: a very simple and unbothered discussion? No. While sharing a bed with someone is prevalent, whether it is shared with a better half, a specific individual, siblings, or with a friend staying impromptu, it never goes as expected. Instead, it starts with a "good night" and is followed by many frustrating scenarios.

And no matter how close or sync-in couples are, when it comes to sleeping in the same bed, people sometimes "sync out." Besides, getting used to someone in the bed can be challenging and leave the person unrested in the morning. Consequently, affecting the productivity level during the day. But how does sharing a bed affect sleep?

According to Dr. Roxanne Prichard, Psychology and neuroscience professor at the University of St. Thomas, it is normal to experience difficulty when sharing a bed. Besides, sharing a bed can be a very intimate activity that may require a certain adjustment period. Moreover, it is unlikely for a person to fall asleep in an unfamiliar environment where they are likely not used to the smell, the amount of light, sound, etc., consequently making it hard to fall asleep, get adequate rest or even affect one’s sleeping time.

If sharing a bed is uncomfortable and woe, then there's always a solution right behind the problem. And it is not just moving into the bedroom or accepting the destined life of midnight interruptions. If you are the woe to your sleeping partner and wondering how to get great at sharing a bed? Here are the seven tips to help get a good night's rest even with two people in a bed.

Get a Bigger Mattress

If money isn't an issue, and every ball is on the court, then upgrading the bed to a bigger size may dissolve the trouble for the couple competing every night for space. But, knowing which size is suitable for two healthy adults is also essential.

The full-size or twin-size mattress is cozy and comfortable for one person since they are designed to accommodate only an individual sleeper. On the other hand, the queen-size mattress is a popular choice among couples; they allow enough space— and more- for both individuals to move around comfortably when sharing a bed.

Solve Snoring Problems

As aforementioned, snoring can be the most grating habit. A snoring bed partner may ruin a quilty night's rest. However, loud snoring of the person may be an underlying symptom of many ailments or disorders, such as obstructive sleep apnea.

Nevertheless, here are a few things that may shield the loud snoring.

• Using earplugs may help block out snoring and any disrupting noises.
• A white noise machine– plays soothing tunes and helps cover the loud snoring.

And if you are sleeping in bed as someone that snores, then try these options:

• Sleeping on your (comfort) side helps open up the airway passage, which can prevent snoring.
• Using over-the-counter treatments such as nasal strips may also help clear the nasal passages.
• If an individual has nighttime allergies, it's better to decongest by rinsing the nose with saline solution.

Sleep According to Your Own Schedule

Not everyone has the same sleep schedule, especially not couples. Plus, drop the idea that couples should go to bed at the same time, primarily if one person works outside for normal timing, while the other may have an ungodly-hour work schedule.

According to 2017 research, Sleep duration has an underlying genetic basis. So, if a person is falling asleep before 10 pm, the other may be a night owl; and neglecting an ideal sleep schedule can make both spouses tired, run-down, and crabby. Therefore, following your schedule and letting your partner have theirs is better.

Try Different Sleep Positions

When sharing a bed, the correct sleeping position can make a big difference for a well-rested night. And though the sleep positions of both spouses may vary, it may take just a few tossing and turning to find the perfect snuggling spot to doze off for both of you.

Moreover, it is essential to remember that sleep positions do not necessarily state the status of the relationship. For example, snuggling and cuddling do not indicate that the relationship is thriving or sleeping away because one of them feels hot and does not indicate any underlying conflict. Besides, getting comfortable to feel better rested must be the top priority for both partners.

Communicate With Your Partner

People are questioning, 'how to sleep with a partner who tosses and turns?' Ever heard that "communication is the key"? The same is also inclusive when deciding on sleeping arrangements. Voicing out every like and dislike is essential in the relationship since leaving potential problems unresolved may build resentment.

And though compromising is necessary, finding common ground shouldn't be too difficult if:

• One partner is careful not to wake up the other during frequent late-night wake-ups or when they go to bed early.
• While sometimes snoring may not have a permanent remedy, the other spouse can use earbuds or a white noise machine.
• And it could be possible to find better alternatives if one partner sleeps cold by wearing thick night suits or getting a mattress with heat-wicking padding to keep the hot sleeper cool.

These are just a few common grounds, but many possible alternatives can be communicated and compromised.

Make Your Bedroom More Sleep-Friendly

A few ticks and clicks in the bedroom can turn it into an ultimate sleep sanctuary, a place to retreat, recharge, and re-wind. Following are a few tips to make the bedroom more sleep-friendly.

• Consider cooler tones for bedroom walls and furniture. Color psychology suggests warm colors increase heart rate, whereas cool colors such as blue shades relax the mind and promote calmness.
• If both individuals have different preferences in temperature, fabric, or duvet choice, consider using different duvets and covers.
• Eye Masks can be the easier solution when one of the partners prefers light or dim lights and the other dark.

Keep the Kids Out of the Bedroom

It is a fact to let kids have their beds when they are old enough. And if they insist on sleeping with the parents, it's fine if it's not frequent. However, it is important to let children know that a parent's bed is for parents.

Furthermore, encouraging them to sleep in separate beds is suitable for both the children and the parents. Plus, kids learning to fall asleep on their own and sleep independently can help develop healthy habits. And parents can enjoy their undisturbed sleep schedule.

And some parents like to co-sleep with their infants because it helps them feel more connected with their babies and encourages breastfeeding. However, this could be potentially dangerous for the babies and uncomfortable for the parents because co-sleeping increases the risk of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS), as well as suffocation or other fatal accidents.

If either of the spouses or partners are still experiencing sleep disturbance, it is essential to rule out the sleep disorders. Sleep disorders such as Sleep Apnea can ruin not just the sleepers' night but also their partners'.

In situations like this, calling or visiting an expert and getting professional help might be the best option. Disorders like sleep apnea or insomnia can contribute to many other mental and physical health issues, which must be treated soon and accordingly.

However, even if both spouses are compatible in every possible way, there could still be conflicts when it comes to sharing a bed. But, it shouldn't be taken personally, and we must try to find common ground. And if there isn't one, and sleep divorce seems like the best option, then so be it.

And while different sleeping arrangements seem like the easy way out of this problem, it is also important to address other alternative solutions before resorting to sleeping separately. And though sharing a bed with the better half can be a wonderful experience, it involves compromises, communication, and considerations regarding individual health and the relationship's health too.

According to the study: effects of bed sharing on sleep, the relationship between sharing a bed and sleep is categorized into four types, parents-child, couples, siblings, and pet owners and pets. Where sharing a bed might help promote better psychological comfort. Besides, there are also other benefits to sharing a bed.

Science of Cuddling

The human touch really impacts an individual, and cuddling is the most powerful of all, with many benefits. And according to Dr. Shukla, a pulmonologist and sleep doctor, cuddling reduces stress and is a real mood lifter; it also facilitates bonding and healing.

Builds a Strong Bonding

The proximity when sharing a bed and the relationship quality is kind of interlinked. And according to Professor Richard Wiseman, snuggling with the sleep partner significantly affects the relationship. And as cited by Harvard University, a simple touch or caress releases oxytocin, also known as "bonding hormones."

Contrive Restorative Sleep

Besides feeling secure and close, sharing a bed with your better half will promote restorative sleep. And according to the findings of the Department of Anatomy and Neurobiology, Morehouse School of Medicine, Atlanta, and Georgia, sexual intercourse positively influences the sleep-wake cycle.

Lowers Blood Pressure

One of the significant benefits of sharing a bed with loved ones is it reduces the chances of life-threatening cardiovascular diseases. And according to a study by the University of North California, frequent hugs and high oxytocin levels are linked to lower blood pressure and heart-related conditions.

Reduces Anxiety

Laying beside a loved one impacts significantly on psychological well being. And touch is one powerful weapon. And according to research, a simple act of holding hands or even a slight caress from close ones, whether they are the better half, friends, or family, can help soothe anxiety.

Increases Happier Hormones

The fine art of sharing a bed is a real simple solution to kick out any negativity. Plus, Shawn Stevenson, a leading health expert, and nutritionist, mentioned in his book- Sleep Smarter: 21 Essential Strategies to Sleep Your Way to a Better Body, Better Health, and Bigger Success, that sexual intercourses are sedatives.

During the intercourse, the body releases a co*cktail of chemicals such as,

• Oxytocin (a.k.a love hormone)
• Serotonin (wellbeing and happiness)
• Norepinephrine (regulates sleep and balances responses to stress)
• Vasopressin (increases sleep quality and decrease cortisol)
• Prolactin (improves the immune system, great sleep, and quality of life)

There is a significant chance for sleep problems and relationship problems to co-occur. And according to a research report, sleep disturbance or sleep disorders can influence the relationship. Therefore, know the problems precisely to solve them.

Snoring

Ever heard people complain, 'my partner and I can't sleep together? These complaints mainly concern the most grating habit: snoring! Besides, snoring can be the underlying symptom of many diseases like temporary or chronic respiratory conditions such as cold, sinus infection, or allergies where phlegm blocks the airways.

Or because of genetics, where an individual inherits a narrow passage, which causes them to snore. Snoring can also be because of a sleep disorder, obstructive sleep apnea (OSA), where the collapse of the upper airway obstructs the airflow during sleep.

Differing Temperature Preferences

"Opposites attract" may sound cool and romantic, but when it's time to compromise, people may hitch a little, especially when sharing a bed. Plus, two people in a bed with different temperature preferences may ruin things. Being the cold one in a relationship is hard, but being an individual who is sweating to death and fights the urges to kick off the blankets, isn't peachy either.

Opposing Sleep Cycles: Early Bird vs. Night Owl

Researchers reported that if an individual has any health or sleep issues, it could affect their spouses or partners unknowingly and significantly. Another research, after questioning 150 couples from three states, reported the effects of the wake-sleep pattern on marital adjustment.

Couples with mismatched sleep-wake patterns were reported with less marital adjustment and more conflicts. They also reported to spent less time in severe conversation or shared activities and being involved in less frequent sexual intercourse than matched couples.

Bed and Blanket–Hogging

Sharing a bed with a blanket hogger can keep anyone on alert. And it is a little hurtful to watch the sweetest, most thoughtful, and kind person transform into a megalomaniac, drunk on their ability to hoard comforters.

And no matter how many nights are spent splitting things 50-50, it always ends up with one of the two curled in a corner shivering with no blankets in the morning.

Uninvited Guests (aka Your Kids)

Sharing a bed with the spouse is hard enough, but it could disrupt the sleep rhythm when the child joins the party. And if the child insists on waking up at night for things like going to the toilet or simply to have a glass of water, it could be tough love. After the transition to parenthood, it gets equally hard to get a well-rested night.

Late-Night Wake-Ups

Falling asleep and waking up together are significant sources of intimacy. And there could be trillions of reasons not to fall asleep together or have an unsuitable sleep schedule. And no doubt, there are times when one of you needs to get up.

But the need to frequently get up at night, whether it is using a phone or the need to pee, it is important to have courtesy. Otherwise, it could significantly impact the sleep of the spouse.

Calling It Quits

Regarding sharing a bed, some people are just not compatible, and that's perfectly fine. And there are times when couples just call it quits— for the time being, of course, and get separate sleeping arrangements. However, sleeping separately can never be the solution in the long run, for whatever reasons between a couple.

Whether it is a relationship or sharing a bed, it is essential to familiarize yourself with the environment and settings. And if there are significant discomforts, communicating with a partner may solve the issue faster.

Also, before opting for different or separate sleeping arrangements, try all the aforementioned tips and techniques— and more. Plus, remember sharing a bed involves compromises, communication, and considerations regarding individual health and the relationship's health, too— especially if it's the first time sleeping together.

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